Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
