grandma shit on top of the toilet
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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