he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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