dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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