benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
