What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
