I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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