ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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