Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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