I feel great
I just peed on a car
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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