I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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