I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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