i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
