break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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