this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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