Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
