I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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