Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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