Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
