Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
