He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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