There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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