if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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