This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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