Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She bit a glass in half.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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