do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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