Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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