Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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