Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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