He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
operation have a gay friend backfired
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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