we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
