Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
