This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
