please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
