This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
