Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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