How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How does one acquire holy water?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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