he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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