He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
