***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i would punch a child for taco bell
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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