problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
