Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize