The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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