I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
