C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
