You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
