hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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