I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
