I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
