im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
