my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize