no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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