i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
