oh god the rape fog is back!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
