so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I enjoy the company of your penis
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
