you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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