it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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