Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
