u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My liver just had a heart attack.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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