There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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