I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize