corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The adults are the big ones right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
