I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
