Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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